What Message to Write a Guy After First Date Dont Want to See Again
At that place's nix quite similar nailing the first date. The conversation was electric, all of your jokes were funny, and both of y'all knew you wanted to see each other naked. Basically, there was going to be a second date, and you both knew it. Until you lot ruined information technology with text letters.
There's nothing like coming habitation from an ballsy date and then staring at your phone wondering what the hell y'all're supposed to practice next. Practice you text? Practise you not text? What do you lot say? How long do yous wait before you say information technology? What if they have their read receipts turned on, and they read it but don't respond immediately, and y'all spend the next three hours and 45 minutes sending screenshots of your chat to your friends and so they tin help you empathize exactly how yous blew it in but then many words?
Texting is tough. There's no accounting for tone or timing. It's a delicate dance, especially when you're messaging someone you just met, and you actually care whether or non y'all see them again. You can completely seal the deal with a text, or you can blow things upwards entirely. Then to aid yous achieve the old, we reached out to Tripp Kramer, host of the podcast How to Talk to Girls.
When should I text afterward the first date?
Don't text as soon as you go out the date—but don't await too long, either.
While you may desire to text your date immediately and say something like "Get domicile rubber," Kramer believes it'south better to let a little bit of fourth dimension laissez passer. "Leave some mystery," he says. "...It's good to let you and her both reflect on the date, and and so follow upward inside 2-3 days to meet up over again."
"Inside" is the key word here—you might be pushing it if you wait until the stop of mean solar day three.
What should I say when I text them?
Pick up the chat where you left off on your date.
When you're gear up to ready another date, "Text him or her and comment on something you lot guys talked well-nigh on the appointment, or an inside joke y'all had from your time together," Kramer says. "This gets the conversation flowing."
Simply recall: You lot don't want to fall into the addiction of texting this new person as well often. You lot're not looking to become pen pals—you want to actually appointment. So the less you leave on the phone, the better.
Plan your adjacent date as shortly as possible.
If y'all're all text and no activity, they're going to get bored, or think you're not interested. If yous want to actually meet this person again, brand plans to, well, encounter them once more!
"After 3-4 text messages dorsum and forth, invite her out to practise something else," Kramer says. But he warns: "Make sure information technology'due south different than whatsoever you did the first time." If your first appointment was dinner, then do an activity. If your first date was drinks, then maybe go out to dinner.
"You desire variety in the showtime of dating to keep things interesting," he says.
Keep your clothes on.
Unless your first date involved sex—and no judgment if so, hope you had fun!—information technology sets a bad precedent to accept it to sexting too apace.
"Don't turn a text conversation sexual unless you guys take been having sex," Kramer says. "Y'all run a huge gamble talking sexually to a woman you haven't been intimate with, because you two oasis't actually crossed that boundary yet."
If your engagement starts to take things to a sexual place, Kramer recommends post-obit their lead, but think to keep information technology mellow. You want to spend time with this person in existent life, not have a sexual pen pal. "It'south not near having a sexting convo—rather, information technology'southward almost really coming together up with her."
We besides asked real people what they think about texting after the offset engagement.
Here'south what they had to say.
"If I want to see you once more and I don't hear from you lot for 2-three days, I'd think you were playing games with me."
"I admit that when I was younger I loved the idea of the chase. If I was really liking a guy and he didn't text me dorsum immediately after the date, information technology would absolutely build anticipation and would make me desire to see him more. Information technology's all function of that 'game.' Merely now that I'one thousand in my 30s I pretty much know right away whether or not I want to encounter you once more. If I want to see you again and I don't hear from you for ii-iii days, I'd retrieve y'all were playing games with me, and I'm not 24 anymore." —Elizabeth, 33
"If you lot like someone, text them that you had fun."
"Don't be afraid to text first. You don't want to be super thirsty, merely if you similar someone, text them that yous had fun and want to run across them once again. All this 'waiting for them to text' stuff just winds upwardly with 2 people beingness bellyaching the other person didn't text them." —Andrea, 25.
"You don't accept to wait."
"Yous don't have to wait the allotted 2-3 days; that feels long especially if it's articulate we both actually like each other." —Sharon, 28
"If yous like the person, why are you playing games with them?"
"I always text equally shortly as I get home if the date was fun. If you like the person, why are you playing games with them? Permit them know yous had fun. If they like you lot, they'll want to hang out again." —Justin, 27
"No one is so busy they tin't respond a text."
"If someone is actually into you lot, they're going to message you right back. They'll be right by their telephone. No one is so busy they tin't answer a text." —Becks, 23.
"Don't post cryptic stuff on social media."
"If you're trying to date someone, don't postal service cryptic stuff on social media and not message them dorsum. It makes you look kind of desperate, in my honest stance. It doesn't convey that yous're busy, it conveys that you're someone who's insecure and plays games. Adults don't exercise that. You never know if someone is looking you lot up on socials, but assume that they are." —Adam, 28.
"It's prissy to know yous were memorable."
"Ship something specific that they'll express mirth about—something that can exist an inside thing. Maybe you both are into the same show and you lot could ship a joke from the testify. Possibly yous talked virtually something specific that you could mention. Whatever it is, it's nice to know y'all were memorable." —Jules, 29.
"Keep the conversation going by request thoughtful questions."
"I'd stay away from anything lame like, 'Hey,' 'What'southward upwards?,' 'WYD?' [etc.] because then they might not realize you're actually trying to have a chat. Proceed the conversation going by request thoughtful questions." —Michael, 32.
"Y'all don't want to exist messaging dorsum and forth for weeks."
"Ask [them] out again as soon as possible. Yous don't desire to be messaging back and along for weeks on cease. That winds up going nowhere." —Maxine, xxx.
"Three days tops."
"I'd say 3 days tops before you ask for another appointment. You want to hookup [or date], not conversation to your pen pal." —Lily, 28.
"If you don't want to see me again, then don't text me at all."
"I cannot stand when I have a bully date with [someone] then [they] just go along to text me [their] random stream of consciousness. Do you want to see each other again or not? If I'm texting you dorsum, then I'll likely say aye. And if you don't want to meet me again, then don't text me at all, considering it'due south confusing," —Leah, 27
"Earlier getting sexual, test the waters out first."
"If the conversation naturally gets sexy and I'm into it, I'll let y'all know. Earlier getting sexual, examination the waters out commencement. Y'all could transport something like, 'I've been thinking well-nigh you all day,' and see what the response is. If they say, 'Oh aye? What were you lot thinking most?' [or something similar], you lot could say, 'I've been thinking well-nigh kissing you.' That'south kind of sexy, merely not too aggressive." —Brooke, 30.
"We desire to become to know y'all with all of our clothes on first."
"Mind, women beloved sex as much as men do. That'southward not news. But if we're just starting to engagement, we desire to get to know you with all of our clothes on first. Not saying that to be a prude, we tin can totally have sexual practice, and hopefully it will exist crawly. But if all you're talking to me about, in the beginning, is getting me naked, and so you lot likely are having that same conversation with a lot of other women, besides. In my stance." —Grace, 31
"It's 2021. Be straightforward."
"If the conversation naturally turns to sex, I always advise asking if they're down for sexting. It's 2021. Be straightforward. If it'south getting dirty only say, 'Are y'all OK with sexting?' If [this person] is into information technology, you lot'll know. I appreciate honesty." —Tim, 29.
"I'd like to know right abroad what the bargain is."
"I'grand a raunchy sexter myself so if he isn't into that, I don't think nosotros're a adept match. I'd like to know right away what the bargain is." —Anna, 30.
"Don't get besides in-depth about the future."
"You should definitely exist thoughtful, just don't get too in-depth about the future before a second or tertiary date. Don't brand jokes nigh getting married or our hereafter kids. That is a big ruddy flag." —Agata, 28.
"You can always propose a virtual date."
"You can always advise a virtual engagement, if your schedules are crazy or, you lot know, there'southward a pandemic happening. If y'all're feeling someone's energy and are genuinely interested in them, tell them you're committed to making the date happen nonetheless you can." —Henri, 27.
"Information technology's okay to be a little vulnerable."
"If you're talking and things feel natural, it'due south okay to be a little vulnerable. Yous shouldn't be dropping the L-word after one date, but telling someone yous really like them or you that you lot see a future with them shows that you're serious. If it puts them off, they probably weren't that serious most information technology anyway. I like knowing what I'm getting into. I'm non twelve." —Heidi, 25.
"Don't waste my time."
"Be enthusiastic if you desire to hang out once more and straightforward if you lot don't. There is nothing I detest more than someone messaging me nonstop for weeks only to notice out that they aren't interested in seeing me again. Don't waste matter my fourth dimension." —Andy, 30.
"Don't beginning sending 'skilful morning' texts after a first appointment."
"My big tip? Don't start sending 'good morning' texts after a commencement date. It's too shortly for that relationship-y nonsense!" —Cristina, 31.
Finally, no dick pics, please.
"Unless specifically asked." —Tara, 30
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Source: https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a25605953/text-after-a-first-date/